SASHES AND TIARAS.....Miss World 2011 Gowns: Uh Oh's & HOOCHIES!

Bad...or Hoochie Bad???

Miss Mongolia World 2011: Where do you think she will end up on my "Uh Oh!" List? Is she just Bad, or is she Hoochie Bad? Read on to find out...

Continuing with my "Review" of the World Designer Evening Dresses that the Miss World 2011 contestants chose--or were chosen for them by their (sometimes) misguided pageant directors...In my last post, I discussed my "Best" list, so now, let's talk about the ladies who should have known better...I have a feeling those judges might have been quietly going "What was she thinking?" I would have. And please, lovely nations of these beautiful ladies: take no offense, I'm not critiquing the country just the choice of tacky dresses... Miss Costa Rica World 2011 Paola Chaverri: Oh huney. What 1987 Prom--in San Jose Costa Rica-- did you think you were going to? Mi amor. Querida Paola. There is no need for so many wired ruffles. She's gorgeous and statuesque (almost 6 foot!), and would have looked amazing in a LONG column gown with her hair slicked back in a classic elegant chignon. One good Style Note: the taupe/nude peep-toe heels are great! Miss Belize World 2011 Kadejah Tunn: God bless her! Miss Tunn is all 5'4" and she's tryin' amongst her fellow 6 foot competitors. She wants to be noticed. But in this dress, she'll be noticed for the wrong reasons. First of all, did some animal get to the side of her gown and take CHUNKS off her side? Just sayin'. And then it's like a cha-cha drag queen from the hips down! Now, I love me a Cha Cha Drag Queen (it's my alter ego!), but that may not be your best muse for the Miss World 2011 "Top Model/World Designer Fashion Show. And does the last cut out have a black mesh inset?! Yikes! Miss Austria 2011 Julia Hofer: No, no and NO! Please tell me this is not considered "evening gown red carpet material" in the lovely nation of Austria. I can find that in Santee Alley in Downtown LA. And those pick-up ruffles say Tacky Quinceañera in ANY language. She's so pretty , why oh why would she wear this? Miss Montenegro World 2011 Maja Maras: Let's start with the positive: it reminds me of a Rodarte dress--the draped gathered silhouette and unique embellishment. Now the not-so-good: The askew gathered draping and unusual embellishment! Is that aluminum foil twisted and knotted? Or Xmas garlands? It so did not need that. Without it, the dress would have been ten minutes away from being called "Grecian Goddess". Here, she's far from it. Miss Aruba World 2011 Gillain Berry: Part of me wants to grab Gillain, hold her and take her back into my NIKOLAKI studio and give her the dress she should be wearing (something about that oh-so-pretty face makes me want to befriend her). This white (flammable poly satin, I'm sure!) gown is A LOT: it is straight out of some 1980's "Dynasty" episode (or more like "The Colby's"). I wish I had been there at the "Miss World 2011 Top Model/World Designer" fashion show/presentation: I would have gotten my scissors and started cutting those ruffles away! Miss Cyprus World 2011 Orthodoxia Panagi: First of all: love her name--Orthodoxia!!! But, I do not love her gown so much. We all know the first rule of making dresses for women: DO NOT HIGHLIGHT, or make it look, as if she's got HUGE hips! This white poly (how do I know?, look at those rippling badly sewn seams) satin taffeta dress is just wrong. From the KRAZEE ruffled top to the side exposure to the cowl hip draped detail...This is a clear case of a designer who thought they were being "edgy" and told their client "just wear it!". Next time, say NO! The Hoochie Girls: Miss Gibraltar 2011 Michelle Petersen: Two years ago, Miss Gibraltar won the Miss World title so of course, people are thinking, could another lovely woman from the famous British overseas territory do it again. Maybe, but not in this gown. Let me get to the positive: She's beautiful and the gown fabrication--all-over gold metallic sequins--is quite fabulous. But then, why-oh-why does she have to expose SO much? The SISTAHS are all out for everyone to see and if that's not enough, there's the ultra-high side slit. One or the other. Not both. Miss Lebanon World 2011 Yara Khoury-Mikhael: HUUUNEEEYYY! Speaking of showing a lot, I present to you Miss Lebanon. First off, once again: I LOVE the heavy gold beaded fabrication. But then, the rest of the gown is this sheer iridescent nude! It is exposing parts of her that I am embarrassed to see. First of all: is that her white SPANX panty under there? If not, then what is it, mini shorty-shorts? I don't get it. Why white, why not just gold? Why is the gown from the waist down not lined? So many questions...and I just don't have the time. If I was judging, I would have moved on. Miss Norway World 2011 Anna Zahl: Somehow Miss Norway's Designer wanted to make a statement with this dress. The statement was: I am going to TAO in Las Vegas and will try--even if I am waiting in line for THREE HOURS--to get in! How is this long-sleeved mini dress (that ANYONE can get in mall anywhere in the world) so special and worthy of a "World Fashion Designer Award"? I think Anna was sabotaged. Plain and simple. Now get back in line at TAO! Miss Mongolia 2011 Buyankhishig Unurbayar: Finally, yes, Miss Mongolia ends up in my "Hoochie" section for this concoction of a gown. It's not necessarily the gown but that oh-so-plunging neckline. Seriously, I can't even focus on the rest of the dress when THOSE things are so propped up and on full display; it's like "Here they are! Y'all want them?" How do you say that in Mongolian? Oh, here's a positive: I LOVE that sequined Disco headband!! So Olivia Newton-John "Let's Get Physical"! * Next Up: The Miss World Evening Gown "Costumed" Ladies...