SASHES AND TIARAS.....Miss Universe 2011 Evening Gown Portraits: Strippers of the Universe

Stripper...OR...Miss Universe 2011 Contestant??? That's a VERY HIGH Slit: Find out why Miss Dominican Republic Universe 2011 made my "Nick V" Stripper Club... I LOVE discussing Beauty Pageants and especially, Beauty Pageant Gowns. I would LOVE to think that somehow, someone is LISTENING--or reading--my comments and advice. I would love to see pageant girls--especially in International Pageants such as Miss Universe, Miss World, etc., be more like what we see at BIG Red Carpet events such as the Oscars and Cannes. But alas, some gals (and their pageant advisers) somehow feel that looking like a Stripper is more Klassy--yes, Classy with a "K". And now, the Miss Universe 2011 contestants who went to the Stripper Club for their "Official" Evening Gown Portraits: Miss Cyprus Universe 2011 Andriani Karantoni: At first glance, I thought this was just-turned-17-years-old Courtney Stodden, the trashy lip-puckering "Child Bride" of that "Lost" actor. Here's a positive: She is SEX on a Stick. But you know, the Miss Universe Pageant may not be the right venue to be so sexy. The bright gold sequined, side cut-out, high center-front slit just adds to it unfortunately.Time of her Stripper Show: She goes on at noon during the Buffet Lunch. Miss Serbia Universe 2011 Anja Saranovic: Such a beautiful doll-like perfect face! She's blessed with flawless genes that's for sure. So why would she choose this too-short and too-tight Mermaid Dress straight out of Playmates of Hollywood? The come-hither pose is not helping matters. Time of her Show: Begins at 2PM, right after the Buffet Lunch. Miss Curacao Universe 2011 Eva Van Putten: Again, such a beautiful girl! Halle Berry Who? The gown is actually quite nice and interesting, but...there's something missing? A LINING!!!!! It's more like a negligee as opposed to an evening gown. If an actress wore this on the Red Carpet, she would have been TORN to shreds the following day. Time of her Show: She begins around 5PM--for Happy Hour. Miss Panama Universe 2011 Sheldry Saez: At first glance, I kinda liked this. But then, my contacts cleared up a little bit, and the whole "I'm a Klassy Stripper" vibe came into full focus: The pouty lips, the would-you-like-a-Bloody Mary stance, that hair! The gold stretch Lycra fabrication of the dress is arguably, a bit cursi (as my Latinos would say). I like the turquoise blue sequined appliques but if only they would have stopped at the top and not continued toward the entire length of her dress. Time of her Show: Sheldry goes on at 7PM, a more "respectable" hour. Miss Dominican Republic 2011 Dalia Fernandez: I just want to focus on her face--it's absolutely STUNNING! If she doesn't win Miss Universe, she'll be a HIT as Santo Domingo's newest TV Presenter/Hostess and/or Telemundo News Anchor!! But this dress: She is 1/2" away from a "Britney" moment. That, in combination with that "Beyoncé Armpit" pose, it's not elegante. Take that chiffon back overlay/train off, close the slit by five inches and drop the arms huney. There! now, it's much better (in my mind). Time of her Show: Dalia goes on at 9PM, kids--with a three-drink minimum! Miss Argentina Universe 2011 Natalie Rodriguez: Up Next, Miss Belly Dancing Stripper Natalie!! Is her entire torso exposed save for some crystal straps? And, it looks as if she's getting ready to begin her "show" as she lifts that chiffon back shoulder "fall" piece. I guarantee that entire "fall" plus the bottom of the gown comes off and volia: It's a Midnight Show in Buenos Aires!!! Time of Her Show: Midnight!!! Hello!!! There's Chimichurri sauce with some late-night empanadas included with the Cover Price... *Up Next: The "Sassy" Miss Universe 2011 Evening Gown Portrait Ladies!!! Stay Tuned!