PROJECT RUNWAY.....Season 9 Project Runway Recaps: Episode 9

A Very Hair-y Bear-y Sheepdog-y Project Runway Last night, we had another episode of Project Runway Season 9. As always, there are several things I need to get off my HAIRY Chest: First, What Does A Musical Revival of "Hair"... Bad Brady Bunch Hippie Halloween Costumes... "Massive" Men... And Gay Bears... Have In Common? According to last night's episode, A LOT--The Challenge was to create a look and "image" for The Sheepdogs, an up-and-coming band from Saskatoon Saskatchewan (say that three times!). They beat out 15 other bands to win Rolling Stone's "Choose The Cover" contest. They were the first unsigned band to do so, in fact. Oh, and they are all MEN! And the designers were not happy--to design, create, and fit, men's clothes, that is. The results were worthy of many many MANY Michael Kors one-liner zingers! In fact, so many, that this week provided enough Kors-isms to last through an ENTIRE season! The Sheepdogs told the designers that they liked a 70's Boho/Hippie-but-2011-Hippie Vibe. The designers took that too far. The clothes were cartoony and costumey, for 98% of them. Madonna British-accented Olivier who is a specialist in Menswear did not fare well. Speaking of Olivier...this episode stood out for his insensitive and almost body-dysmorphic remarks against anyone who wasn't a size 2. He called his client, the lead singer Ewan Currie "MASSIVE" (he's not!). And it didn't end there, Olivier went on and on about not liking to design for "Plus Size" and that he got "The Fat One". Boy, did I just want to dump Olivier in a (Name your Local Gay Bear Bar) and have my MASSIVE Boys at him!!! The Hippie Winners and The Woodstock Losers: Joshua McKinley's creation for bass player Ryan Gullen: It was a costumey and reminiscent of a local community college musical performance of "Hair", but DANG, those pants fit very well. I didn't like those contrast back patch pockets though. No need for those. A little too "Fashion School First Semester Project". Bert Keeter's look for lead singer Ewan: He looked like a Viking during Oslo Norway's Gay Pride. And I actually mean that in a good way. Not sure if the braids were necessary, but at least the rest of his look was not a "Hippie Chick" costume. Viktor Luna's look for guitarist Leot Hanson: The jeans fit well and that fringed-and-braided jacket was outstanding. Not so sure about the tucked-in shirt. Most "rock-band"/musicians do not do TUCK-IN's but he was the Winner. Now, The Bad: Anya Ayoung Chee's look for drummer Sam Corbett: Huuuuuney!!! What. Were. You. Thinking? That is a Dashiki Don't. Kors, and guest judge Adam Lambert were having a field day with this one, saying that it reminded them of something...

Greg Brady wore on the "Brady Bunch"

And poor Sam, he got it AGAIN--this time from another designer, Kimberly Goldson. He looks like he sells some really cheap--and bad--pot somewhere in Amsterdam! Supposedly Kimberly is "famous" for her pants...but these were one of the WORST pair I've ever seen; too big, too loose, too much rise. I think Sam should get a special "Good Sport" award just for dealing with the embarrassment. But the BIGGEST LOSER--Massive in fact--was Olivier "I Hate Fat People" Green and his design. At least he mitered the print down the center front and it wasn't straight out of "Hair". But, the shirt was too lose, too cropped, and the entire look had no Design "It" Factor. Anyway, I think just for being so UGLY to Ewan, he should've gone home anyway. Now that I've quickly summed up my "Main" thoughts--Below you can begin reading my "Extended Version" and what I REALLY thought of this week's "Image Is Everything" Episode on myLifetime.com: The episode begins, and once again, within 30 seconds, there are two ominous hints at what’s to come: Anya’s can’t-sew issues and Olivier’s time-management problems are both quickly revisited. Unless the editors are trying to throw me for a loop, I just have a feeling one of these two is going home. And I just KNOW it isn’t Anya — those judges have drunk the Anya Kool-Aid, and they’re not sending her back to Trinidad and Tobago, that’s for sure! Oh and yes, Olivier still hates fat people …

Musique C’est Chic Let’s begin. Last week, the designers thought that they were designing for men — when they saw nine guys walk onto the runway — and they weren’t happy. But as “‘Project Runway’ luck” would have it, they had to create looks for the men’s respective girlfriends/wives. Whew! That was a close one. Well, kids, don’t do the “happy dance” just yet. This week, the designers head out to Rockwood Music Hall, where they meet up with Monsieur Gunn and Peter Butler, Consulting Stylist for Garnier. There, Tim tells the designers that fashion and music are forever linked, adding, “Think The Beatles and,” um, “Lady Gaga.” (I know that took A LOT out of Tim to even mouth —the Lady Gaga part, that is).

The Dogs Get Groomed It turns out that Garnier and Rolling Stone magazine have partnered to showcase a new band, The Sheep Dogs. Here’s the first catch: The “Project Runway” contestants would be responsible for creating the band’s fashion image, and the winning look would be worn by a band member at an event as well as be featured in a Marie Claire/Garnier advertorial. Here’s the second (more important) catch: They’re ALL men! Yes, kids, this is THE Menswear Challenge, officially. Third catch: They must work in teams ... again.

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