WHO WORE WHAT?....."Premios Juventud 2013" Red Carpet: Los HOMBRES Worst Dressed

Ricky Martin and Sensato: 2004 called and they want their fashion back...

After discussing the Best Dressed at Thursday night's Univision-televised "Premios Juventud 2013", as well as the "Ayyy Mija's!" (Oh Dear! Ladies), it's now time to wrap it all up with the HOMBRES. For some reason, the men did not do well, when it came to the red carpet on Thursday night. There were some HOT MESSES; lots of Miami Vice influences, lots of D-bag (I can't use the entire word but you know what I'm talking about) looks that one would see on a random Friday night at a very C-list Hollywood and/or Vegas nightclub; in other words, some of my Chicos need help! So, let's talk about the "Ayyy Mijo's!" of "Premios Juventud 2013":

Alex Ubago: Spanish singer-songwriter known for his ballads looks more like a CAA Agent ready to go to a meeting with his clients, than an actual singer who makes all the chicas swoon. It's a nice Zara-looking suit, but not for "Premios Juventud". On a good note: I give him points for not looking like an extra on "Miami Vice". Speaking of...

Don Johnson Eat Your Heart Out: Just because the event is close to Miami, does not mean you have to give a "Miami Vice" outfit. Boys, Oh Boys. Host of Univision's "Despierta America" Morning TV Show, Johnny Lozada (left) wore this outfit of white slacks, red jacket and blue t-shirt with a graphic of eye glasses. Oh and yes, a sockless suede loafer to finish it all off. What. Is. Going. On? Is it 1986 all over again? He's too old to be wearing graphic tees--an elegant dress shirt would been much better.

Venezuelan music duo Chino y Nacho--Miguel Ignacio Mendoza (left) and Jesus Alberto Miranda Perez (right) --These two did their best to give "Miami Vice" circa 1985 at the "Premios Juventud 2013" alfombra roja. It's sooooo obvious "Miami Vice" that I wonder if the joke was on us and this was on purpose. Of the two I would pick (if I had to!) Chino (the one on the right) as the better dressed one--at least his pants are skinny and they fit him and the shoes are a bit more on-trend. But together, these looks are better left for an 80's themed dance party.

Print Boys: Lots of the ladies at "Premios Juventud 2013" wore printed looks and it seemed to have infected some of the men as well. Exhibit A: Mauricio Henao--Colombian-born model, actor, heartthrob Mauricio is a HUNKA HUNKA of a man but in terms of the style he wore to the award show, he must have gotten confused and thought he was attending a Beach Party in Cancun. Let's start with the tropical printed jacket, the worn jeans, the v-neck t-shirt, the I-Just-Got-This-at-the-Quicksilver Store necklace, and to finish it off: Espadrilles! It's a fun look, if you're attending a Pool Party in Miami Beach. But for "Premios Juventud"?

Exhibit B: Dominican rapper Sensato--Two Words: Oh Dear! First off, is that a jacket of cherub babies? And then, the skin-tight leather pants, the gold chains, the douchey sunglasses...Ayyy Mijo! Please tell me girls are not attracted to this look. Please! It's so "I'm waiting in a long line at a Vegas club...and I may not get in".

Eugenio Derbez: Mexican actor of film and comedy (he's also a Formula Three Auto racing driver!) Eugenio is an icon in the business. But this outfit he wore at "Premios Juventud" does not say Spanish-language actor/icon, instead it says "Pirates of the Caribbean Meets Django Unchained". I am so confused by it. The jacket looks as if it was made of couch fabric and then he wears it with a white no-collar shirt, basic flat-front pants and a belt straight out of Ross Dress For Less. I have a feeling someone at Disneyland is missing their costume. Seriously.

J Balvin: Colombian Reggaeton recording artist J Balvin also thought he was attending a Beach/Pool Party (along with Colombian heartthrob Mauricio Henao): white linen almost-see-through pants, a heathered knit shirt, a sleeveless jacket (?) and too-big-for-his-feet open toe sandals. I just can't. No Mijo. No.

Larry Hernandez: American Mexican Regional Music singer/composer/TV star Larry Hernandez is not looking too happy in this picture (why the "stink face"?). I wouldn't be looking to happy if someone told me that I had to wear this outfit.  The jacket, pants, shoes...they all look very expensive but, they shouldn't go together. It's as if he walked into the Gucci or Dolce & Gabbana boutiques on Rode Drive and told the sales person "Look, I've got $2,000, put together an outfit for me...that's ON SALE!" without any thought to whether or not it would actually look good. He looks like a Russian Mafioso waiting for his eight mistresses to show up. Not a good look.

Oh Ricky You're So Fine...Oh Ricky!---Ricky Martin! Can we start with the fact that Ricky signed a pack with the Beauty and Ageless Devil. For Sure. He looks the same way he looked FIFTEEN YEARS AGO! I want the number to his skin care expert--plus the products he uses! Now, the fashion: I have to say that after looking at all the other "Ayyy Mijo!" messes above, Ricky looks pretty good. It's not a bad look, it just seems a bit contrived, a bit "Yoshi Yamamoto Meets Armani Exchange circa 2004". But again, I will end on a good note: He still looks FIIIIIIIIINEEEEEE!