Oh Dear! Miss Azerbaijan Aysel Manafova (left) and Miss Estonia Kristina Karjalainen (right)--Miss Universe 2013 Evening Gown Portraits
All Photos Courtesy of MissUniverse.com
Continuing with my Review of the Miss Universe 2013 website just-released "Evening Gown Portraits"...in my last post, I talked about the "good" ones/my favorites of the bunch, so now it's time for the "Oh No She Didn't" or as my mom would say, the "Ayyy Mija's!" of the gowns. Whether these beautiful ladies were ill-advised or they might just have questionable taste levels (or maybe this was the last dress on the rack), they ended up here. And yes, we know that some of these might not be the actual evening gowns they will wear for the Preliminaries (which take place in less than a week on November 5th) and for at least this bunch, let's hope so! Now, for this group of "Oh Dear's", I decided to separate them into specific sections...keep reading and you'll know what I mean:
The "Real Housewives of Miss Universe 2013":
Miss Netherlands Stephanie Tency (right): This ivory beaded gown is a nice gown, but again, very dated and just screams 1996 wedding guest at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Her too-bleached hair and pouf-ed up style doesn't help either. Another cast member of the "Real Housewives" series yet again.
The Pageant Betty's:
Miss Ethiopia Maheder Tigabe (right): Ahhh, bless her heart. The reason why beautiful Maheder is here is again, the entire package. Her hair is sooo Pageant Betty 1998, the dress looks like it is from a Prom-&-Pageant shop; it looks cheap, and it is waaaay too short--about 8 inches in fact. I know some of these contestants don't have the options (or money) of the Top Girls, but good styling and the proper gown length could, at the very least, make it acceptable.
The Slit Queens:
Miss Honduras Diana Schoutsen (left): No, no and no. From the hair style (so Prom-&Pageant 90's), the big ol' earrings to the tacky silver stacked pumps, the entire look is so dated. The dress itself doesn't do Diana any favors; it looks cheap and typical and yes, the slit just takes it over the edge. It all needs editing.
Miss Italy Luna Voce (right): Luna won the "Top Model of The World" pageant (according to Wikipedia) but I would never, ever know this from looking at this garish choice of a gown that naturally, has to have a slit. This is more appropriate for a Vegas nightclub act before she strips down to a almost-nothing sequined bikini top and thong. Seriously.
Miss Aruba Stefanie Guillen Evangelista (right): Oh no. Unless she is figure skating to Rimsky-Korsakov's "Scheherazade", this gown is unacceptable. It's trashy, cheap-looking and badly designed.
Cha Cha Girls:
Folies Bergère show that got cancelled. The gown looks as if it was attacked by a cheap fabric store in Downtown L.A. Cha-Cha Not.
The "Underwhelming Gown Prize" Goes To:
The "At-a-Girl/Oh No You Didn't" Prize Goes To:
Finally, the "Please Go Back To The Tony Ward Couture Show Look":
last week modeling in the Tony Ward Couture runway show at the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Russia:
Paulina: Please do this above and NOT what I saw in that "Miss Universe 2013 Evening Gown Portrait", if you have to borrow one of the $50,000+ costing Tony Ward Couture gowns, do it, and make sure to pay for the dry cleaning afterward--and send him a BIG bouquet of flowers!--just do it! Trust me, it will only help you darling.