Monday, May 05, 2014
Tabitha Simmons in Dolce & Gabbana Spring 2014 Alta Moda: Shoe designer Tabitha Simmons wore this silk tulle ball gown with hand-applied flower petals sprinkled throughout the gown. The gown was from Dolce & Gabbana's Alta Moda (Haute Couture) Spring 2014 collection. First things first: how does a shoe designer get to be lent a $100,000+ Couture Gown? Just asking. Nothing against shoe designers but...Nevertheless, props to her and her PR team. However, this was a bit of a MESS and MISS for me. If I saw this in a movie as a costume about Spring flowers...I would probably be like "that's glorious". But at the Met Gala red carpet, not so mucheey.

It looked fabulous on the runway (and hanger) at the Dolce & Gabbana Spring 2014 Alta Moda show:
 But yes, at the Met Gala, it was a tulle-and-flower mess.

Rita Ora in Donna Karan Atelier: Rita Ora--always one to take risks on the red carpet--wore a Donna Karan Atelier (the Haute Couture only-for-celebs-on-the-red-carpet arm of the brand) antiqued matte gold sequin silk tulle gown with asymmetrical sculpted train. Here's the thing: I get the whole "look" and it's very "Game of Thrones Wedding"-like but at the same time, it reminds me of something a just-out-of-fashion-school kid would create: It's A LOT and much of it is a mess.

Rihanna in custom Stella McCartney: On a positive note, Rihanna's body looks AMAZING (when does it NOT look that way BTW??!!) but this two-piece white ensemble featuring a too-cropped top and side gathered skirt is two seconds from looking HOOCHIE: the exposed tattoos, the nipples, the too-many rings, the KRAZEE hair. This is the Met Ball, after all.

Chloe Grace Moretz in Chanel Pre-Fall 2014: 17 year-old actress Chloe Grace Moretz showed up to the 2014 Met Gala looking like she was going to the Grand Ole Opry. She wore a gown from the Chanel Pre-Fall 2014 Metiers de Art Collection Karl Lagerfeld showed in Dallas, Texas back in December. That doesn't excuse her from looking like a Colonel Sanders'-themed RuPaul's Drag Race contestant. On a good note: Chloe Grace is soooo cute but the dress/look would be better for a Couture Line Dance. Not the Met Gala.

Florence Welch in Valentino Haute Couture Spring 2014: On the runway, this gown and coat was ethereal, beautiful; the combination of silk chiffon lightness in the dress with the hand-sewn sequined appliqued coat was perfect. However, at the 2014 Met Gala red carpet, it looked Cirque du Soleil messy.

Gabrielle Union in Custom Prada: I know it's custom Prada and there are some beautiful feathers and sequins but...this isn't cute; it's a bit "Figure Skating Costume Black Swan".

Kate Upton in Dolce & Gabbana Alta Moda: Oh Kate, you are one gorgeous woman. But this black lace dress with waist/midriff corset...I get the theme: Sicilian Mistress Who Will Steal Your Husband. Got it. But the whole look seems a bit trashy and (dare I say it) too Va-Va-Boom.

Kristen Stewart in Chanel Haute Couture Spring 2014: I LOVED this look when I saw the Chanel Haute Couture Spring 2014 runway show (on YouTube) and photos of it. But somehow, on Kristen, it didn't translate into fabulousness. This is a perfect case of "GUUURL, this ISN'T Your Dress".

Lena Dunham in Giambattista Valli Spring 2014 Haute Couture: Mija!!! Seriously?? OK, first things first, I love me some Lena Dunham, but this ISN'T THE DRESS FOR YOU. It's obvious from seeing the runway photo compared with the red carpet image--that the Giambattista Haute Couture team custom made it for her and lengthened the too-micro mini skirt as well as the folded overskirt. Thank goodness. The beading is gorgeous; it should be, it's Haute Couture. If Lena were to actually buy this dress, it would set her back about $45,000+. Needless to say, it wasn't right for her.

Maggie Gyllenhaall in Valentino Fall RTW 2014: I absolutely loved this Valentino Ready-to-Wear collection. However, I just don't think this was the dress for Maggie. Nope. Not happening. An Italian Heiress in Capri...yes,. Maggie. Nope, not so mucheey; it looked clown-ish. Unfortunately.

Margot Robbie in Custom Prada: Margot, why even show up? You can just see it in her face; she's thinking "Oh My God, all these women are here in big beautiful ball gowns and I'm wearing this!". Well, darling, you should have thought about that when choosing what to wear. It's a very pretty sequined custom Prada look but just not right for the Met Gala. This is "Cocktail Hour" not the actual "Gala".

Zoe Saldana in custom Michael Kors: Oh no. The pouffed mini ball gown silhouette that stops at the's very tricky. I just think that Zoe missed it this time. On a good note, the halter plunging neckline was nice.

Riley Keough in Louis Vuitton Fall 2014: Speaking of "Why Even Show Up?", Riley Keough is a perfect example. Riley wore a black almost-double breasted notched collar top and skinny pants ensemble that just wasn't right for the Met Gala. Maybe she thought it was last year's "Punk" Met Gala. This just wasn't right for this occasion. Period. A Miss for sure.

Shalene Woodley in Rodarte Spring 2014: I love Shalene's short hairstyle. Love. I don;'t love this dress on her. There's A LOT and she just cannot pull it off; the off-the-shoulder neckline, the multi-sequined details, the blouson sleeves, the sequined under mini skirt. It's very Couture Peasant Provence. But for me, a miss for the Met Gala.


Sandye said...

I'm afraid nothing is going to be Lena Dunham's dress until her posture improves. If someone lends you a $45,000 dress, stand up straight for pete's sake.

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