SASHES AND TIARAS.....Miss Universe 2014 Gown Portraits: "Uh Oh!", Hoochie, Too Mucheey

Oh No!!!! A potpourri of BAAAD gowns--Miss Universe 2014 contestants (Clockwise top to bottom) Bulgaria, Guatemala, Croatia and Mauritius--Miss Universe 2014 Evening Gown portraits 

In my last post, I discussed my "Good Gown" favorites from the just-released-on-the-website "Miss Universe 2014 Evening Gown Portraits" pics. Naturally, what follows are the "Oh No!" List. And there were plenty, kids! Not sure what happens to these beautiful women when it comes to choosing gowns; whether it is their own style or all their pageant handlers around them that are involved...but, whatever the case, these ladies made some Not-So-Good choices.
Let's check out the "UH OH Gowns":

Croatia Ivana Misura: There's no way around it, there is WAAAY too much sheer. And the applique placements on the sisters and her you-know-what aren't helping. I think the red sequin applique is actually quite nice, I just wish that I could get some more of it and cover Ivana up! She's competing for Miss Universe NOT Miss Hoochie!

India Noyonita Lodh: Petite Noyonita (her stats say she's 5' 6" but you know that means she's more like 5' 5" if not shorter)...anyhow, Miss Universe India looks like a cheap stripper in this very sheer dress with silver paillettes. It's not cute or tasteful and then there's those too clunky nude platform heels! There's nothing that says I AM TOO SHORT more than showing these kind of shoes. She is sooo pretty. I am a bit embarrassed for her. let's just hope she changes her gown for the Preliminaries. Please.

Honduras Gabriela Ordonez: Mija!!! What is this look and pose??!! This looks like a photo I'd see at a Las Vegas Stripper Show Billboard. She needs to tone it all down. Big time. The sheer gold applique dress that's too short, the too-sheer-ness, the nude pointy heels...it's all lacking a level of taste and therefore she is on my "Uh Oh!" List.

Haiti Christie Desir: NO. I just can't with this sheer canary yellow applique and sequins gown; there's just a lot to take in and none of it good. And then--as if it was necessary--she wears these too-big earrings and BRONZED peeptoe platform heels that have absolutely NOTHING to do with this kind of gown. #BlessHerHeart

Costa Rica Karina Ramos: Karina--of the National Costume Drama--wore this ivory gown (if you could call it that) for the Miss Universe 2014 Evening Gown Portraits. The dress is VERY "Figure Skating Costume NOT!" and more importantly, what is with the chiffon fall right at the center front (??!!) showcasing her you-know-what and the two (not one!) leg openings/slits. Oh, and then there's a peek-a-boo of some tacky silver platform heels. Of course. Ayyyy Mija!! Karina is too pretty for such a tasteless gown.

Lithuania Patricija Belousova: Oh Patricija. Here's another example of a "Bless-Your-Heart Gown". She looks so happy and proud. Yet, this looks as if her grandma--or first year fashion school student--made it. Here's some advice to her: watch past Miss Universe Pageants and what the Winner wore. And then we'll TWALK!

Dominican Republic Kimberly Castillo: I'm still a bit speechless that THIS BLAH of a fuchsia jacquard printed strapless gown is what Kimberly chose to wear for the "Miss Universe 2014 Evening Gown Portraits". It is such a throw-away of a gown. WHYYYY????? Let me remind you: Miss Russia wore a $175,000 Elie Saab Haute Couture Gown !

Thailand Pimbongkod Changkaew: I love me some fringe but this is a bit too cocktail/casual for an Evening Gown portrait. This gorgeous beauty is over six feet tall and THIS is what she decided to wear!!??? And with those shoes and necklace??!!! She looks like she's going to a "Chicago: The Musical" After Party and not competing for Miss Universe.

Lebanon Saly Greige: This is so disappointing, knowing that she had the chance to wear Zuhair Murad Haute Couture for the "Miss Lebanon 2014" pageant. I don't mind so much the style (I like the print) but it's that unnecessary rosette at the waist and crystal strapless bustier and platform heels that makes it too tacky-licious.

Curacao Laurien Angelista: While I appreciate the drama of this gown, it's just Too Mucheey, when it comes to the purple lace sequined applique and the midriff boned corset. Maybe on stage, this might look amazing, but in the photo, it looks a bit "Oh No!".

Ghana Abena Appiah: Part of me wants to like this because it's obviously custom and not a borrowed Sherri Hill gown. But...it's just a bit too tacky. The gold applique looks quite nice but then paired with neon green tulle, it cheapens it. The overall effect is a bit of a mess. This gown would have been fine all gold and without the tulle.

Guatemala Ana Montufar Urrutia: I love the overall silhouette of this yellow and lilac sequin gown. But then...WHY. Oh Why...are there gathered yellow tulle ruffle tiers!!??? Please remove those. Now! It's just tacky and too-mucheey.

Slovenia Urska Bracko: Oh Urska! Who or What attacked your gown? The bottom half should have been left alone--with no tulle rosettes and definitely no pleated ruffle hem. This gown could have nice but it got bitten by the Tacky Design Virus.

Guyana Niketa Barker: Not a fan of the "pick-up" peplum and mermaid bottom section; it screams Prom-and-Pageant...and tacky. Niketa is too pretty for such a "Uh Oh!" gown.

Bulgaria Kristina Georgieva: Hands down, one of the most "Uh Oh!" gowns of the "Miss Universe 2014 Evening Gown Portraits". There's just A LOT to discuss: the 1980's sty;e, the Prom Pink organza, the strapless gold lace dress underneath, the waist sash with rosette detail...those silver platform heels. It all adds up to a definite "Uh No!".

Mauritius Pallavi Gungaram: How could the very pretty Pallavi not know this is a mess??!! While I like the deep fuchsia color and I can (almost) like the skirt section--sans the big ol' sequined and applique "bow"--the entire thing is a big ol' mess. I can almost hear the photographers thinking "GURL! This gown is a DEFINITE No...but go ahead, we'll take the photo nonetheless!".

Let's just hope some of these ladies read my blog and change their gowns for the Miss Universe 2014 Preliminaries on January 21st. We'll see.