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SASHES AND TIARAS.....Miss Universe 2011 Evening Gown Portraits: HOT MESSES

Mija...Tacky Black Pumps, Mother-of-the-Bride Hairdo's, Slits up to the Cha-Cha, Dominatrix Stiletto Platforms...The Miss Universe 2011 Official Evening Gown Portrait No-No's:
A Wrist/Cuff Train Holder??? Uh...NO!!! See where this lovely "HOT MESS" ended up on my "Put That Dress Back on The Rack" List...
As you may know--from keeping up with my blog here--I am in "Pageant Mode", since the Miss Universe 2011 competition is coming up in a few weeks, and the much-anticipated "Evening Gown Portraits" were released over the weekend on the Miss Universe website. In my last two posts, I began with my "Best" from those photos and the gowns the international ladies chose. But of course, now I must discuss THE HOT MESSES as much as I don't like to do it. As a Fashion Designer who's expertise is in designing evening gowns and red carpet dresses, I do it more to help, and "style-advise" my lovely beauty pageant gals as to what they shouldn't be sportin' in the evening category. Now, remember these may or may not be the gowns these lovely women wear in the Final Telecast (for their sake, I HOPE NOT!!!) but still, I must discuss... Here's my "Put That Gown Back On The Rack" List: Miss Mexico Universe 2011 Karin Ontiveros: There's A LOT riding on Karin. Last year's Miss Universe, Ximena Navarette is from Mexico and did EVERYTHING right in 2010--including choosing the right gown. I'm not sure if Karin chose correctly here. It's just a bit "off". A two-piece purple strapless peplum'ed bustier with over-sized flower detail--and a gold lame skirt. If she were hosting a minor award show in Mexico City that her abuelita would be attending: Maybe. But not for the Miss Universe Pageant. Her hair and make-up look great though--very Selena Gomez. Miss India Universe 2011 Vasuki Sunkavalli: I expect a lot from those stunning--and very stylist Miss India's. However, at least for the choice of this gown and styling: Not so much-ey. It looks like a gown I would have designed and made TEN years ago (I think I actually did!) But what bothers me most are the BIG BLACK PUMPS! Whyyyyyyy? It makes no sense. Didn't she bring some metallic strappy heels (EVERY pageant girls needs to have at least THREE pairs!) or nude ones. The whole look wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for those BLACK PUMPS! Miss Finland Universe 2011 Pia Pakarinen: OK, she's just GORGEOUS. Doll-like. She'll be in the Top 15 just for that beautiful face! Leave it to those Scandinavians to produce beauties like her! Something about the fish, the vodka and the cold weather I guess. But I am not a fan of her gown choice here. It's very "Bridesmaid", especially the light pastel color. And, what is up with THAT 4 inches too short length? Miss Hungary Universe 2011 Betta Lipcsei: Well, basically all I have to say is that's just a whole lot of tiered ruffles! Is she a background player at a Budapest performance of "Bizet's Carmen"? It's very "Cha-Cha" and I do LOVE Cha-Cha, but not for this. I say try again and maybe with not so many tiers of ruffles--a "Mermaid"-style gown skirt would have been better. Miss Georgia Universe 2011 Eka Gurtskaia: Look at what we've got here--It's a MINI...No, wait, it's long. No, it's a Mini. No wait, It's BOTH: A Mini dress with a fitted chiffon long skirt overlay...with a silver metallic bodice midriff. Here's the thing: It's WRONG and a little trashy. If it would have been lined all the way to the floor (as opposed to a mini way too close to her nether-regions) it actually could have been nice. Miss Brazil Universe 2011 Priscilla Machado: A lot is also riding on Priscilla. She's the "home-country" girl. The Miss Universe Pageant is--after all--taking place in Brazil! I am disappointed in this gown choice. It's the kind of pageant dress that ends up on the Sale Rack at a local Prom/Bridal Boutique! And, why did she allow herself to get a big poufy 54-year-old Housewife Hair-DON'T? Here's a suggestion Priscilla: Go to Miss Venezuela or Miss Puerto Rico's Hotel Room and closets, take one of their gowns...and you'll be "good as new"! They'll never know the gowns are missing. Miss Montenegro Universe 2011 Nikolina Loncar: OK, I LOVE her first name--NIKOLINA!! But this dress!!! Please tell me her ruched poly chiffon one-shoulder dress does NOT have a Cuff Train Holder? Those three words: Cuff, Train, Holder...I NEVER wanna see together again. And on her feet: The black pumps that DON'T MATCH at all! Chinese Laundry (Miss Universe Shoe Sponsor): We need some silver/metallic strappy heels ASAP! Miss Belgium Universe 2011 Justine De Jonckheere: Oh huney, there are TOO many things going on with this dress: It's a one-shoulder..but then it's not; then there's a Blouson sleeve for no apparent reason; then straps connecting the midriff-waist; a high side slit. It's a little "Belly-Dancer"-ish. To finish it all off, she adds (because she feels it's sooooo necessary!) a tacky necklace, a cuff, PLUS the bouffant hair. She's such a cute girl. Why? Strip her of EVERYTHING and put her in a simple strapless sequined column gown. Done and done! Miss Guatemala Universe 2011 Alejandra Barillas: But, I will save the Best "Hot Mess" for last. This is A LOT of Gown: The Football Quarterback-sized sequined shoulder caplet (I know that Strong Shoulders are "In" but this is taking it to a WHOLE other level!), the high slit (of course), PLUS the too-long train (for no reason) and then (Drum Roll!!), THOSE Stiletto Platform Dominatrix pumps!? Here's a positive: This ensemble would be FABULOSO on a Drag Queen for "Joan Crawford Meets Joan Collins Night" at a bar in West Hollywood. Remove the Over-sized Shoulder-Padded Caplet, cut 20 inches off that train and get her some peep-toe nude pumps (with NO PLATFORM!) and she'll be "back in the game"! *Next Up: The Strippers Of The Universe!!!!! Yes, kids, What Miss Universe 2011 Contestants decided they would be Strippers for their Evening Gown Portraits? Find out in the next post!

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