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SASHES AND TIARAS.....Miss USA 2017 Preliminaries GOWNS: The OH DEAR List!

Too-Mucheey Meets Disney Prom: Contestants who made "Uh Oh" Gown Choices--Miss USA 2017 Preliminary Competition, Mandalay Bay Events Center Las Vegas

If you are a Pageant Fan, you may know that it's Miss USA 2017 time! The finals are happening Sunday night, televised live on FOX. In my last post HERE, I wrote about my Top Ten Best Gowns from the Miss USA 2017 Preliminary Competition, which occurred Thursday night in the Mandalay Bay Events Center in the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino Las Vegas. So naturally, now it's time to discuss my Not-So Top Ten List of Uh Oh/Could Have Been Better Gowns of the night.  These ladies chose gowns (or had their "Pageant Glam Squad Team" choose these gowns for them...unfortunately) which for more than one reason, might not have been the best of choices.

Flame Retardant, Prom-a-Licious, Spanx-Revealing, Star Trek Flanges: "Oh Dear" Gals at Miss USA 2017 Preliminary Evening Gown Competition--Mandalay Bay Events Center Las Vegas

Once again, my critiques are based on a FASHION perspective, as well as the obvious knowledge that these gown should have some (and I am hesitant to highlight "some") "Pageant" qualities--in terms of stage presence, impact, etc. I want these ladies to move beyond the typical "Pageant Betty" gowns and 1998-looking dresses and well, be a little more stylish, directional, fashion-forward...Would Charlize Theron wear this to the Academy Awards is a question I ask in my mind. Well, the answer to all those questions were "Oh No!"...
Let's take a look at my Not-So-Top Ten Uh Oh Gowns of Miss USA 2017 Preliminaries:

Miss Kentucky USA Madelynne Myers: Oh Madelynne! She is so pretty and tall (5' 9") and she looks very sweet but...she chooses a 1992-looking "Prom-a-licious" gown that makes her look like a extra in a remake of "Wedding Singer". Three words: Bless Her Heart. The gown is a strapless dress with sequin bustier and satin taffeta pouf skirt. It's adequate for a QuinceaƱera but huney: NEWS FLASH!! It's MISS USA!! I could chalk it up to being a low-level state pageant's MISS KENTUCKY!!! Surely, someone there can come up with $5,000 for a fab red carpet-worth stylish gown! Or maybe not. Score: 6.25

Miss Oregon USA Elizabeth Denny: Continuing with our Prom theme...I introduce you to Miss Oregon USA Elizabeth Denny. She wore this baby blue iridescent organza (two words that SHOULD NOT come near any Pageant Girl!) off-the-shoulder gown. Once again, she's such a pretty woman and it is a pretty dress...for a Disney Debutante Ball. But not for Miss USA 2017! The fabric alone looks so flammable that I am very scared for her coming close to any stage lighting apparatus! Score: 6.89

Miss Minnesota USA Meredith Gould: Here is another example of very pretty contestant...bad choice of gown. And I am using the term "gown" loosely, since this white flower applique design is actually a jumpsuit (yes kids, there are pants under there!) with an overskirt as well as some sort of sequined body-suit/leotard with neck-piece on it. Try and figure out all those words I just described. I am sure the designer was trying to go for a Zuhair Murad Haute Couture red carpet moment like this:

But it didn't happen. This was a mess on Victoria's Secret Brazilian Supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio (above) and it was a mess on Miss Minnesota USA 2017. Score: 6.90

Miss Mississippi USA Ashley Hamby: Ashley Hamby wore this silver sequined gown on Thursday night's all-important Miss USA 2017 Preliminaries. The gown was sexy and "Jazz Hands" impacting but, it was two seconds from being Too Tacky-licious. More importantly, my eyes hurt from seeing the straps literally SQUISHING her "sistahs"/breasts. It was like "Don't look here but...yeah PLEASE LOOK HERE!!". I don't wanna look anywhere. Score: 6.98

Miss Iowa USA Kelsey Weier: When Miss Iowa USA walked out in this blue gown, all I could say was "FLANGES!!!" In case you might not have attended fashion school or know fashion terminology, a flange, is a piece of fabric/detail in a garment that projects out of the design. Usually, it is seen on shoulders and usually, it was a VERY 80's/early 90's kind of detail. And lo and behold, here it is. In a Miss USA 2017 gown. In addition to those very unappealing flanges on her shoulders, the dress has a plunging neckline, sequin applique and naturally, a crystal studded waist. This is a FLANGE mess. Score: 7.00

Miss Oklahoma USA Alex Smith: Miss Oklahoma USA has ended up in my "Not-So-Top Ten of Oh Dear Gowns from the Miss USA 2017 Preliminaries mainly because of that stand-up Portrait Collar in her gown. When she came out onto the stage I was "Oh she's so pretty...but why does she look SHORT NECKED??!!" Why would anyone in their right mind want to make themselves look as if they had a short neck...or no neck at all?? This was a very late 1950's/60's Jackie O-like detail that never really translated into the aughts. This was a gown misstep on Alex's part. And it didn't help that the rest--the white Bridal-looking lace style--wasn't fashionable or impacting at all. Score: 7.15

Miss Pennsylvania USA Cassandra Angst: First off, Cassandra has to be one of the most beautiful contestants in this year's Miss USA. She gives a red-haired Stefania Fernandez Miss Venezuela/Miss Universe vibe. I was really looking forward to a fabulous gown but this wasn't it. She wore an off-the-shoulder iridescent white and see-through dress that featured a visible under bodysuit and jeweled sequins. I LOVED the jeweled sequins. And the shape of the dress was fine. But why all the see-through??? And then, those TACKY nude platform pumps. She went from Rita Hayworth Gorg to Hoochie a hot minute! Score: 7.25

Miss Maine USA Brooke Harris: Brooke ended up here in my "Oh Dear!" Gown List because this design she wore for the Miss USA 2017 Preliminaries was inelegant. I get the whole transparent trend it just looked as if I was seeing her Spanx. And I wasn't supposed to. I liked the whole golden/blush sequined gown style but it was the too-much see-through that did it for me. The fabrication is gorgeous but the design wasn't. That, and those tacky nude platform pumps. Such a pretty woman but she looked like she should be on a "Real Housewives of Atlanta" Reunion. Score: 7.28

Miss California USA India Williams: The gorgeous India Williams is SIX FEET TALL!!! And so beautiful...and she chooses this?? I just don't get it. This white sequined gown is OK but so dated and does not highlight her fabulous beauty and height. The criss-cross crystals are distracting and the crystal waist detail is too low and why is there a neckband?? It's too safe and not-fashion-y and looks (EEEK!) store-bought. At least it was the correct length. I would have DIED if she busted out in something like this:

Binibining Pilipnas 2017 contestant and Binibining Pilipinas Grand International 2017 Elizabeth Clenci 

But, alas, she did not. And therefore, India and her gown are in my Bottom Ten List. Score: 7.35

Miss Michigan USA Krista Ferguson: Speaking of neckband...and platform pumps...Oh Miss Krista. Yet another pretty girl choosing a tacky gown and in addition, who was styled poorly. The gown--a nude/golden sequined dress, featured sleeves (very popular), cut-out midriff , a super high side front slit, crystal neckband and (yes, there's more!), silver platform pumps! It was just TOO MUCHEEY and the taste level of the entire look would have made Nina Garcia of "Project Runway" scream obscenities in Spanish. Score: 7.40

Let's hope that if some of these ladies make it to the Top Ten of the Finals of Miss USA 2017, they change their gowns. We'll see!

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